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(page three)
HOSPICE
The
morning warm and fresh,
sky blue, mottled with white.
The breeze, warm to the skin,
Carried faint indistinguishable perfumes of spring.
Along the road, gardens flowed over
with the purples, pinks and reds
of rhododendrons rising from darkest green.
The curve of the gravel path was lined
with trees and shrubs - new leaved and bloomed -
and the crunch announced each guest.
Life
hid death
within the wall beyond
We
knew we'd come to say goodbye
yet all I felt was fear
nausea trapped inside me
making my heart throb.
The
black latch raised
and the heavy oaken door
bade us welcome.
There
was no antiseptic smell,
just soothing fragrance from flowers,
lovingly arranged, on tables and window sills.
The
ward - small and bustling –
cradled the frail frames off ailing souls
The
weighted eyelids no longer resisted,
the black cheeks outlines the bone.
Black mouth open to gasp
the final earthly air.
The sound of rasping breath
echoed too deeply in my ears and
I turned away,
embarrassed by my tears.
Through
the window
sun showered the empty lawn.
Drawn
back to the face,
changed through pain and tiredness,
I felt inadequate.
I could not speak or pray.
Time
hung, suspended, in this home.
There were flowers, cups of tea,
comforting smiles.
The long silent embraces
in the lounge
spoke everything.
Tears fell unheeded at the passing.
No longer was I afraid,
just humble,
hoping I could receive my own death here
on a day such as this.
The
clouds passed,
the sun stroked the earth,
trees rustled their sorrow and
the birds sang their anthem
Susan
Howell
June 1995

If
you find these "Thoughts" comforting,
please consider
purchasing Beyond The Rainbow from our online store.
It is a
beautiful and thought-provoking book containing an anthology of poetry
and prose written by patients, carers, staff at the Hospice and more
well-known and not so well-known writers. The poems have been compiled
by the Hospice's Complementary Therapist Bridget Purser.
All profits from
the sale of this book will go to the Hospice.
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