Barbara Ambridge – Volunteer

Barbara is a local girl, of many years standing.  She is not shy, as someone meeting her may initially think, but a quiet and reflective character on the whole, with merry, infectious laughter and kindly eyes, very adept at spotting the task that needs to be done.  That is how most people know Barbara – the nice lady, quietly getting on with the job!

Born and brought up in Farnham, she has been a life-long member of Farnham United Reformed Church and indeed was baptized there in 1927 – then in due time married there, not once but twice! She remarried there in 1983 to George, her present husband – the consensus amongst her friends and colleagues – both very lucky gentlemen…

Q: How did you make your first connection with Phyllis Tuckwell Hospice?

A: Reg and I were married in 1953 and were very happy together for twenty five years.  When he was fifty we found he had cancer, and he died in 1979.  It was while he was ill that the Hospice was first opened and in February, the Social Worker at Frimley asked if we would like Reg transferred – but Reg who was rather shy, had struck up a friendship with the porters on his ward, they talked golf and football.  He was settled there, so we asked if he could stay there instead – four weeks later he died.

Reg and I had both worked – but after his death I found the weekends very lonely.  I crocheted a blanket to pass some time and took it down to the Hospice to donate it – whilst I was there, on the spur of the moment I volunteered to do some weekend work.

Q: What job do you do?

A: When I first started, they were desperate for help in the Kitchens at the weekend so that is where I started.  Thankfully, I am still there – every Sunday and on other special occasions when extra help is needed.  It’s just the Cook and me on Sundays cooking for up to 25 people, and I do anything from washing up to sandwiches to cook’s help.

Q: What did you expect?

A: I didn’t quite know what expect.  I certainly didn’t know that a Hospice was such a very caring place and that there would be such a high ratio of nurses to patients. I also got back wonderful feelings and I don’t do an essential job – I was paying back just a little as a thank you.

Q: What were your feelings when you first started?

A: I was very apprehensive at first – the Matron then was Miss Rowe and she was really of the old school – her inspections always included the Kitchens and the staff  - and woe betide us if anything was out of place or untoward.  Then, as time went on, I got to know so many people and make good friends over the years.  Often these days there are new agency cooks – so I can help them find their way round the kitchen quickly, in a relaxed and friendly fashion…How different from the formal way it used to be..

Q: Did you have any misconceptions?

A: When I first volunteered – I didn’t really know what a Hospice was and I think the general public still don’t know.

Because I’ve been here for a while – I now know of a number of patients who have entered the Hospice – (several members of my church for instance) – and in general terms the biggest realization is how important each patient is and is made to feel.

They all receive super attention; they are all on Christian name terms with their carers.  Everyone’s birthday and special events are celebrated and it’s like being a part of the nicest family.  I am 72 and I am not retiring until I have to  - because I would miss the Hospice very much indeed if I wasn’t able to go.

Q: How has your role changed?

A: Over the years quite a few extra jobs have been added to my schedule that I didn’t do at first.  If we have a new Agency Cook – I can usually give them a guide to the routine for general meal preparation and if there are any special events, I usually give a hand then too.

(Eds. Note: As we can see Barbara does NOT like to blow her own trumpet – but I have been told to let everyone know that Barbara is a treasure and her Apple Sauce is renowned!).

Q: What would you say to anyone who hasn’t walked through the doors of PTH before?

A: Don’t have any fears.  Come in and see – within a very few minutes you will see that it’s a wonderful place.  It’s much better than a general hospital.  Reg, my husband was the first person we had known to be offered a place at a Hospice.  At the time he was in Hospital, on a general ward with no further surgery planned – so the hospital wanted to transfer him.  Reg didn’t know what to expect and he wasn’t keen on the idea.  I was worried about moving him because he had company and people he talked to abut his interests – so we asked if he could stay at Frimley instead.  As it was, he passed away only 4 weeks later – but all our fears and worries as I now know so well, were unfounded.

Q: If you could wave a magic wand – What would you wish for the Hospice?

A: Firstly, a regular source of money from a body such as the NHS because of the wonderful work all hospices do.  More volunteers to step forward – because the rewards far outweigh what you give and more than compensate for the effort involved.

More time – because I am nearly 73 – but I will continue until they throw me out!

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